For Sale in Saudi, Part 1

I should admit at this point that it has been a month since my last post. My excuse is that I have been applying to graduate school and have therefore been devoting my free time to summarizing my life in 500 words or less. But I am determined that this will not be one of those blogs that people set up, make four posts on, and then abandon. So without further ado, I bring you For Sale in Saudi, Part 1:

During my second week here, I went to a Sears-style department store to buy a pair of shoes for work. While walking through the housewares section I came across this box. Having spent at that point almost two weeks without consuming a single alcoholic beverage, the display of this cocktail set struck me as cruel mockery. I have since come to understand that the Saudi people have a serious love of fruit juice and fruit juice mixtures (smoothies, shakes, etc.). In that context, this box makes more sense. But to me there remains palpable irony.

These next three items are clearly Chinese-made and therefore probably more appropriate to Chinglish-focused blogs. But they are so perfect that I just had to share them with someone. I imagine that “Imperiatorial Type” is a literal, software translation of a Chinese idiom meaning something like “fit for a king.” And I would like to point out that the three main characters are—in order—an airplane, a rabbit, and an octopus picture-fish.

This t-shirt was on sale at the Carrefour in my neighborhood. I have no idea where it is made, or what it is supposed to mean. I guess the general message is along the lines of “Save the Earth.” Straining further I imagine that “careeds” is meant to be a third-person singular verb linking the subject, “Earth,” with the object, “protection.” In retrospect, wish I had bought it.

I came across this package of cobra repellent in a dollar store in my neighborhood a couple of days after moving here. I will not lie to you: I was still a little freaked out about the fact that I was living in the middle of the desert in Saudi Arabia, and when I saw this I thought to myself, “Shit, do I have cobras in my apartment?” Because I have suffered through infestations of mice, ants, and cockroaches with what I considered to be aplomb, but cobras are another matter entirely.

In the months since this picture was taken, however, I have never heard of anyone ever seeing a snake within the city limits. I think that this repellent is probably something that a person buys before going on a camping excursion in the desert. You put one in each boot before going to sleep, or something like that. It probably wouldn’t hurt to pick up a box the next time I’m over there, though.